4 techniques for lasting happiness

Become happier in the short and long term with these 4 techniques that are: fast, simple and easier than meditating!

Do you want to be happier? Unless your name is Oscar the Grouch, I’m assuming yes. The good news is there are four easy things you can do to make your brain happier in a lasting way. I’m not a scientist, but I read from the best, and I want to share with you the techniques I used that made my 2020 truly happy, despite enormous setbacks. If being more joyful on a normal day, and more resilient on a bad day sounds good to you, keep on reading.

Technique 1: Reflection (AKA “taking in the good”)

Taking in the good is an extremely simple concept. When some thing enjoyable happens, pause for 5 to 20 seconds to let the experience sink in. That’s it. This concept comes from Rick Hanson’s book Hardwiring Happiness, and like the name says this allows us humans to encode positive states into our brain to become permanent traits. I love this technique because it is easy, increases enjoyment in the moment, and has long-term benefits for overall happiness. If you like things that are easy and have no downside, you will love the next technique too.

Technique 2 : Gratitude

While the concept of gratitude is nothing new, it deserves renewed interest because it is such a powerful practice. Science has proven that you cannot feel gratitude and negativity at the same time. Shifting your focus to what you appreciate makes you feel richer.

Gratitude is so amazing because it gives you temporary relief from negativity while you are giving thanks, and a longer lasting afterglow once you’ve finished. Who wouldn’t want to walk around feeling blessed all day?

I’d like to sprinkle in my own belief that expressing gratitude increases the likelihood of those blessings recurring. Gratitude is another one of those rare things with no cost and unlimited benefits.

Technique 3 : Affirmations

Simply put, an affirmation is a positive message about yourself that you say repeatedly until it becomes a belief. 

So much of our mental programming is negative random and wrong. Why not take back control by consciously shaping our minds into a place we want to live?

Affirmations do just this. They might feel silly at first, but my experience as well as an overwhelming body of literature will confirm that they work.

In short, tell yourself what you need to hear the most. Say it out loud, write it down, repeat it. They can be very simple statements such as “I am enough” or they can be grand and ambitious like “my success as a foregone conclusion”. Say whatever feels right for you.

If you want a simple and powerful affirmation, I would start with this one;

“I love myself no matter what, and it is amazing.”

More on this later.

As a bonus, you can download this free app called I am which sprinkles positive affirmations throughout your day. It’s the only app that makes me smile 100% of the time.

Quick note about journaling:

I was recently introduced to the Five Minute Journal which I need to mention now because it is so amazing. It gives a concrete way to integrate reflection, gratitude and affirmations into your busy daily routine. I cannot recommend it enough! If you want to gift some happiness to yourself or a loved one, you can buy the Five Minute Journal here (charity link). Alternatively, if you prefer to journal digitally, you can access the journal questions for free here and use them however you like.

Technique 4: Love yourself

The final and most powerful technique to embody happiness is obviously amazing and that is to love yourself unconditionally.

Would you rather be loved no matter what, or only some of the time, when circumstances are in your favor?

Conditional love can hardly be called love at all, because it comes with the implicit threat of disappearing when things go wrong. Imagine parents who stopped loving their child if they earned bad grades. If this sounds ludicrous, or even abusive to you, I want to make sure you aren’t imposing similar conditions on yourself.

If you can love yourself unconditionally, you are far better off than people who have it all but don’t even like themselves. If you love yourself you are already rich, and external factors like success and relationships can only enrich you further. That is why I consider self love to be the foundation for lasting happiness.

In conclusion:

If you already love yourself, keep going and don’t ever stop! You’ve won the game of life, and everything else is a bonus.

But if you struggle to really internalize self love, I’d encourage you to take the same path I took which involved the above practices: reflection, gratitude and affirmations until self love finally fell into place. It’s an enjoyable journey with an incredible destination.

Can I start you off with an affirmation? Read it out loud with me:

“I love myself no matter what, and it is amazing.”